Why can't I just be happy for you? Why is reading about you, hearing every update, your voice- why does make me want to scream? I never had you- you were the shining beacon, exactly what I wanted to be. I waited, moving my way up through the crowd. I had grown so accustomed to being a casual friend, an under-valued (but not in a cruel sense) friend that when I was promoted to a close, nearly best friend I was ecstatic. There was pain, of course. I could never be to you what you were to me. You were the prodigal daughter of everyone... we all loved you and you couldn't see it, I wonder if you could. I see the way people stumble for a way to fit in with you, but they can't. Beauty like that doesn't exist in ordinary life, we were unsure how to take you. Comparably, were an ordinary friend to any of us? No, you were spectacular- a comet racing through the sky that we try to capture in our own private way when, in reality, we never had a piece of it to begin with. You belonged to yourself and to the world you loved with ethereal passion. Then you met him and you belonged to an Earthly being for the first time in your short life. Thankfully, he came as close as any of us to deserving you. Still, it hurt. I love him, I love you. But what I lost still tantalizes me. I am happy for you , I know you'll live a life many of us only dream about.
I still miss you.
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