Fucking dammit....

UGH!! You are being really freakin' pissy right now. I don't get it. I don't care how many freakin' signs were pointing in this directions, you have no right to pull this shit.

I guess I get it, though. In my own way, I've gone the whole way with you, in the sense that, physically, there isn't any more ground to cover. We didn't even go on a date, but we kissed and I slept in your bed. That's it, the mystery is broken for you. I don't regret what I did in the least, but maybe if I had held off a bit, things would have been different. But would there have been another chance? I'm glad I had the opportunity to be with you in a romantic (I hate that word) sense, but that doesn't make the aftermath any prettier. Look, I'm not 10, I expected that you would blow me off and/or give me some speech about how I was too nice for you. I didn't go into that night with any expectations, except that it would be a nice, one-time experience. I hoped that we could still be friends, but I was 95% certain there could not continuance of affection, a relationship, anything.

I just don't understand- are you a flake? Are you more into the chase than the real thing? That would surprise me, considering how you've always been down with having a girlfriend. I really don't want to analyze what I did or said wrong because that just upsets me, and makes me act not like myself when I'm around you. I am who I am, and if you expected something or someone different, then unfortunately there is nothing I can do for you.

But seriously... I don't get it. If you want to break this off with me, then fine. I will be totally okay with that, I mean, I'll need some time to recover, but I'll get over it. It's your life and I expected such a result from the beginning. But WTF Mike? What is this bullshit you are pulling? Ditching me, leaving me out to dry? I know where stand, and I'm not stalking you or trying to usurp time you should be spending with your friends or family. When you make plans with me, it's hella shady to blow them off for the first thing that comes along. It's even worse to A. Not even attempt to apologize and then B. Be as rude as possible to me when I try to joke around with you. Come on Mike, grow up. I'm not expecting you to be the man on my arm, I'm asking you act like an adult. If you don't want this, then grow up and tell me. I'm giving you space, I'm letting you do your thing. If you're too much of a coward or an asshole to tell me straight up what you think, then that is your problem, don't take it out on me. I'm still the same person I was three nights okay, who are you? I want to see you before you leave because you are, first and foremost, my friend, and I don't want to waste my time being mad at you. What is the point of that? You'll be gone and I'll have plenty of time to fizz and settle. I just don't know how to tell you all that I'm feeling, since you apparently are really eager to write me off for whatever reason.

I hate this. Fuck you Mike.